Invisible Hands Upon My Head

 

“The Guru is the giver of the Highest Bliss. In him, one finds Supreme Happiness. In him alone, one finds the Supreme Aloneness of the spirit.”

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Our Guru, the dispeller of darkness, the treader of the path of Brahman, is the great teacher in my life who brings the lantern of knowledge to dispel ignorance and carries me to the shores of wisdom, truth, and love. For me, the Guru is a power beyond the ordinary, a bright jewel that dwells apart. The Guru, the greatest polymath, was the living embodiment of compassion, who found the beauty of holiness in consoling and helping the poor. He taught me how to lead the life of a perfect human being. I feel deeply fortunate to have this great Guru in my life.

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How did the Guru come to occupy such a central place in my life? The story begins with a little child's craving for prasaadam, which led me down the path of light and joy. My parents, K.V. Anandan and Sarojini, household disciples of Nataraja Guru, were devoted to him. An unforgotten memory from my childhood that lingers is when Nataraja Guru came to our home. I sat very close to his cane chair, savoring black raisins and crystal sugar from his palm, and with that sweetness, I was blessed with the great bliss of life. During Guru’s visits to Thalassery, Guru Nitya and his disciples would stay in our home. Our home, ‘Gurukripa,’ was a home for Gurus and Gurukula friends, owing to our close relationship with Nataraja Guru, Guru Nitya, and the present Guru, Muni Narayan Prasad.

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My father, a Tahsildar, had many friends and colleagues who became Guru’s devotees. He would invite the people of our little town to listen to Guru’s talks whenever he visited Thalassery. As I grew up, I witnessed Guru’s attentive listeners being captivated by his awe-inspiring speeches, classes, and literary discourses. Everything about him was unique and special.

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When I was a child, I went with my parents to the annual convention at the Varkala Gurukula. By the time we arrived, it was evening prayer, and Nataraja Guru asked my father to chant 'Daivadashakam,' the universal prayer written by Narayana Guru. I joined in. Guru Nitya, who was present, noticed the little child's chanting, asked my name, and I sat on his lap as he told me the story of the crow. We played in the sand for a while, then walked to the Gurukula from Narayanagiri, holding my Guru’s hand. I was delighted, felt secure, understood the meaning of TRUST, and experienced the warmth of a deep friendship that would last a lifetime. He was the first friend I had from the Gurukula, and our friendship grew and continued until Guru’s Samadhi. The Guru holds the position of both a father and mother, for me as well as my mentor guiding me deeply. My parents were shaping my upbringing within the Gurukula culture, and connecting with this rich tradition has been a beautiful and enriching experience.

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I was fortunate to stay at Fernhill Gurukula many times during my school and college vacations. Guru, a man of letters par excellence, was well-informed and could write about any subject under the sun. His day began at 5 a.m., and most days were filled with classes on the Upanishads or other literary works. We would jot down his dictations for magazine articles, which we would later edit and prepare for publication. I was lucky to be among those who helped, absorbing wisdom that shaped my life. Guru’s daily routine included replying to at least 20 letters, both in Malayalam and English, filled with love, care, and comforting words for those in need. His books were masterpieces, and we were convinced that something extraordinary was being created in every word he wrote. His works uplifted humanity, bringing solace to those who read them.

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When a new book arrived at the Gurukula from the publishers, there was always a celebration, as if welcoming a newborn child. Guru would say, “Each book is like a baby, a prized possession of mine.” The joy on his face when unwrapping a new parcel of books was angelic. These memories, filled with love and anticipation, still call me to the peaceful valleys of Fernhill, to embrace the serene silence of the Gurukula—Guru Nitya’s abode. Guru used to say that even after he left his physical body, he would continue to visit his library through the window to read the books he cherished.

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Guru was deeply compassionate, well-versed in ‘The Gospel of Buddha,’ which his father had narrated to him as a child. I witnessed many villagers of Manjanakorai approach him, crying for help, as we walked to meet the Sacred Mother Tree of Fernhill. With folded hands, they would greet him, “Namaskaaram Chami.” Guru would reply, “Namaskaaram Amma. Saukhyamaa?” I have seen how his love and mercy brought people out of grief, revitalizing them with hope. I always tried to find out the secret of joy that Guru shared with everyone, from children to the elderly, without any distinction. Over the years I have learned how to behave like Guru with affection, kindness, and selfless love.

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For us at Fernhill Gurukula, May was a month of celebration—art, music, dance, and literature filled our days. Listening to maestros, poets, and the performances of famous dancers made those days unforgettable. I was fortunate to be included in conversations on poetry, which deepened my love for the written word. Later, when I began teaching in school, Guru advised me, "Consider your students as your own children. The day you no longer feel that way, you should stop teaching." This became one of the greatest lessons I received—teaching is not just about imparting knowledge, but about nurturing and caring for each student’s growth.

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In my teenage years, Guru Nitya, my dearest friend, could read my mind. He became someone I could share my feelings, fears, and worries with. Guru encouraged me to read more books, igniting my interest in literature. He taught me how to write poems by observing the beauty of nature and how to be in tune with Mother Nature. After my post-graduation, I had the privilege of spending a few more months with him at Fernhill, traveling with him, learning the essence of a peaceful, happy life. During this time, I assisted him in editing and writing, particularly for one of his most significant works—the commentary on the Brhadaranyaka Upanishad. These were invaluable lessons of life. Guru's teachings, including the importance of music, poetry, good books, and even cooking sattvic food, enriched my soul. I enjoyed listening to different genres of world music.

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I could not continue my stay in Fernhill, but Guru’s influence remained strong. He was aware of my friendship with my long-time college mate, Sreekanth, and our engagement and ring ceremony was celebrated at the Fernhill Gurukula. Guru Nitya, who came to Thalassery to solemnize our wedding, blessed us abundantly. His advice before our marriage was insightful: Guru explained the conversation between Yajnavalkya, Maitreyi, Katyaayani and told me that marriage would not hinder one’s spiritual growth. He told that  “Patience and perseverance will help you win the love of your new family and neighbors. As a householder, you must be ready to shoulder the responsibility of the family, which is new to you.”​ After the wedding, Guru’s occasional visits to our home in Chennai were always comforting. It was like the presence of a parent, offering guidance, jokes, and wisdom.

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When I was pregnant with my first child, Guru’s care and love were evident. He instructed Sreekanth to buy Dr. Spock’s Baby and Child Care for me to follow the instructions. Guru also gifted me The Saga of Seven Mothers by K.R. Sreenivasa Iyengar, advising me to imbibe the qualities of endurance, courage, love, attentiveness, acceptance of ideas and patience from the seven noble mothers depicted in the book. Guru's foresight was remarkable—he knew I was expecting a boy and even suggested naming him Vimalakeerthi. When my son was born Guru came home, carried him in his holy hands, held him close to his chest and whispered his name in his ears three times, blessing him to grow into a good human being. That blessing was a priceless gift.

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The teachings of Guru Nitya continue to illuminate my life. His wisdom flows through my soul, bringing peace and joy. Guru taught us to love sacred silence, to meditate, and to nurture our inner selves. He never forced us to follow his teachings; instead, he gave us the space to unfold slowly, without fear. He encouraged us to express ourselves for the greater good of the world. Guru’s blessings will forever guide us, and I pray that we all live in harmony with his teachings. My memories with Guru Nitya are countless, and writing them down will remain an unfinished task.

 

“What each performs for the happiness of the self should be conducive to the happiness of another.”

Being the Absolute, the Guru has no specific form, apart from the invisible totality of the whole. I feel his presence in the beauty of this universe—forever a guiding light in my life.