Freedom With Suffering

Peace within oneself is to be found in the same place as agitation and suffering. It is not found in a forest or on a hilltop, nor is it given by a teacher. Where you experience suffering, you can also find freedom from suffering. - Ajahn Chah

For many years in my 20s and 30s, I lived believing that if I was not feeling okay, something in my external life needed to be changed or fixed. Depending on whatever the source of my pain was on any given day, that something could be my children, my husband, my boss, the weather, my body, the government... you name it. Trying to get things to be 'just right' before I could allow myself to feel happy or content was like playing whack-a-mole. 'If only...' ruled my life, leaving me exhausted, frustrated and unfulfilled. 

I remember a story I first heard beloved Buddhist teacher Pema Chödrön relate. As with many Buddhist stories it involves a novice monk and his master. Every day this young monk walked barefoot across a forest to meet his master. And everyday he would complain to his master about how his feet hurt from walking on the hot ground, getting pricked by thorns, and wounded by the uneven, sharp rocks. One day, he told his master determinedly, "I'm going to cover this entire forest with leather so I can walk comfortably when I come to visit you!" The master replied with a smile, "Why don't you just cover your own feet with leather?" In other words, wear some shoes (!) and you can walk comfortably wherever you go, not just in this forest.

The lesson in this story is simple. Cultivate your mind and you'll find yourself happier and at ease in more situations of your life - a life that is fundamentally ungovernable and unpredictable at many levels. A peaceful life does not come from having the perfect external set of circumstances. So, it's not 'freedom from suffering', rather it's 'freedom with suffering' - a freedom that arises from growing wisdom and compassion.